


underneath the heart sun

by puddingandpie



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M, One Shot, Set post movie, simon is incredibly anxious, so is bram he just doesn't show it, there's no plot here just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:19:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14262852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puddingandpie/pseuds/puddingandpie
Summary: the first weekend they spend together is spent breathing in and breathing out, keeping simon from panicking about where he could have been instead of where he is





	underneath the heart sun

**Author's Note:**

> i went to see love, simon on saturday and its honestly changed my life it was such a beautiful film. its also broken me out of my one fandom writing streak that ive been on, so theres also that. 
> 
> i cant wait to explore these characters more, because i really love them so much <33

It’s just a regular Sunday. Inhale. It’s just a regular Sunday. Exhale. It’s just a regular Sunday.

 

Simon has had to repeat that to himself over and over again all morning, because if he lets the internal facade slip for even a second then he will remember that this isn’t actually a regular Sunday, but the First Sunday, the First Sunday in hopefully a line of Sunday’s that will all have the same few characters in them and a similar plot line.

 

Opening scene, his mother, father and sister leaving for the soccer game. Simon waving them goodbye at the door. A wide shot of him pacing around his living room. A knock on the door. Bram on the other side. Cut to black. 

 

All the shots have been and gone now, leaving Bram in his living room for the first time. The carnival was only last week, and after that there was a whole week of school to get through. On the Friday night Simon had texted him asking if he wanted to come over, and then worried about that text until Saturday morning, when Bram replied saying he would love to. Then, he spent all of Saturday afternoon worrying about what to wear and what to do, in typical anxious Simon fashion. 

 

“Do you want something to eat?” Simon says, rummaging through his kitchen cupboards anxiously and eventually surfacing holding a familiar red packet. “Doritos?”

 

“Doritos are fine,” Bram says casually. He seems so at ease in this situation, leaning against the kitchen counter and smiling at him with that stupidly wide smile that makes every single nerve end in his entire body spontaneously combust. 

 

It becomes clear to Simon that Bram is going to be the one taking the lead in this situation too, because he starts climbing the stairs up to Simon’s room before Simon has even indicated that that’s where he wants to go. Or maybe he did, because that  _ is _ where he where he wants to end up. Bram stops about two stairs up, turning around to look at him. “This is where your room is right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Cool. I always thought you’d be an upstairs person.” He pauses. “Are you coming?”

 

“In a second. My room’s the first door on the left,” Simon replies, chucking the Doritos at him. The movement is half hearted, and Simon goes to abort it but then thinks better, so the Doritos don’t sail through the air smoothly like he would hope, but instead look like they are on track to fall about three feet short of Bram.

 

But Bram catches them swiftly and turns back around and heads up the stairs two at a time, leaving Simon alone in the kitchen, unaware of the internal struggle that Simon just went through to get the Dorito packet from his hands to Bram’s. Sometimes he just wishes that he could be more confident, because if he was maybe shit like that wouldn’t happen.

 

Simon gives himself a moment to breathe, leaning against the kitchen counter where Bram was just standing and breathing in and out, in and out to try and calm his racing heart. He wonders if he’ll ever be successful in calming himself around this boy.

 

Anyway, he’s already admitted he loves him to basically the whole of the school. He can do this. 

 

He follows Bram up the stairs after that mini pep talk, pushing the door open slowly and quietly so that Bram doesn’t hear him.

 

And now he’s panicking. Freaking out. Alarmed. Scared. Nervous. Any synonyms for panic right now Simon is feeling them, because he’s never been in a situation like this before. The only person who has ever been in his bed is Leah, and it was never going to be in the same way as this. This has Romantic Connotations, complete with the capitalisation and everything, and Simon knows that the butterflies he is feeling right now are the butterflies that they talk about in all the high school movies.

 

And Bram is just sitting there, scrolling through his phone and munching happily on Doritos, totally unaware of Simon’s internal panic. This is the first time Bram has been over. The first time he’s been in his room. The first time. And right now the view that Simon has is a nice view, with Bram all relaxed in a way that Simon just knows doesn’t happen often either. It makes his heart swell. 

 

Simon doesn’t know how long he’s standing for, leaning in his own doorway just running through all the worst case scenarios about what could happen so that he can convince himself that they won’t. “Are you gonna stand over there all day or are you gonna come over so we can cuddle?” 

 

He can’t stop the blush from springing up on his cheeks. He looks back at Bram, really looks at him, takes in the stupidly fond expression that he’s staring back at Simon with, and smiles. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he mutters, ambling awkwardly over to him with his head ducked. 

 

Bram moves his arm, staring back at his phone while Simon slots himself neatly into the space he made, resting his head on Bram’s chest. Bram settles his arm back down, rubbing circles into Simon’s back. 

 

“You’re getting crumbs in my bed,” Simon states, trying not to stare at the way Bram licks the orange Dorito dust off of his fingers. 

 

“I’ll vacuum them,” Bram replies absentmindedly, reaching for another chip.

 

“Will you really?” Simon retorts quickly, the words slipping out before he can really think about it. This gets Bram’s attention, tearing his eyes away from his phone and down to Simon.

 

“Do you actually mind me eating?” he asks, a smile and not a hint of a joke in his sparkling eyes. 

 

Simon shrugs. “Not really.”

 

There’s silence after this, in which Bram puts his phone down and uses his free hand to start running his fingers through Simon’s hair. “I’m nervous too, you know?” he whispers. The words are too loaded to say any louder. Simon isn’t surprised that Bram could see how nervous he was, but he is a little surprised at the admission, because smooth, suave Bram doesn’t seem nervous at all.

 

“Are you?”

 

“Yeah. It’s not everyday that you get to cuddle with the boy who loves you.” That was something that Simon said. Plastered his love from Bram all over the internet because he had to go all out, to show him he meant it with a Big Gesture. He wonders halfheartedly if Bram thinks about those words as much as Simon thinks about them. He opens his mouth to say that, but something else comes out in its place.

 

“It could be everyday though. From now on,” Simon replies a little cockily, a surge of adrenaline running through his body that fades almost instantly. He feels his heart constrict at the prospect, because he didn’t really consider that until the words left his mouth. 

 

“Fuck off, you know what I mean. Not every day it’s the  _ first  _ time you get to cuddle with the boy who loves you, is that better?” Bram retorts, rolling his eyes.

 

“Better.”

 

Simon’s never cuddled with anyone before. It doesn’t take long before he notices that they’re breathing in sync, two of them as one entity just taking it calm and slow. “I never thought I’d have something like this you know,” Simon whispers. 

 

“Me neither,” Bram whispers back. The silence isn’t weighing or awkward or anything. It’s just silence, and Simon is just a boy, lying here with someone who loves him. The panic from before has faded. It’s just Bram. Just his Blue. He can do that. Simon takes another breath. Inhale. Exhale.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always appreciated :)


End file.
